pretend won't get us far

go school today just to be sad gp just gross me out moderate seven freaking marks in the end just so low still anw come online obv not to blog bout this shit, moving on..

okay into my last and final official week in victoria jc i rmb when i was just 2-3months into college i sat outside the pull up bars toilet crying cause adapting here isnt just any easy task like it seems to be. stepping out of the comfort zone of cedar and moving into an entire new (mix) class with zero cedarians was hard for me. i admit im not quite gd at adaptations or rather leaving the comfort boundary. thank lord for my three besties who came to veejay too (: it really made my two yr stay here soo much more comforting.

these two years, short yet enduring.
have been fighting so much, fighting for a place to fit in, fighting for love, fighting to hold on the broken friendships, fighting for grades, fighting every tear.

it really hasnt been easy making any new close friends. found one yet lost i dont even know if i'l have a chance to get it back. found love yet lost dont mention how endless futile fight for friendship was. classmates bballers are great(: at least my classmates never gave up on me all thses while (: as for jobel: i dont know how're we gna resolve what we have just done to our friendship. no that serious yet serious. guess there just wasnt enough trust in the friendship in the first place. but thinking through it i think it still holds a special place in all 4 of our hearts. its sth we carved out of nothing, its sth we built over time.

guess there's just so much give and take to be done, to accept each others difference. can we do it? we have our fault for blog-flaming without talking to you first. i agree thats our bad, blog just no good no good. stimes i wonder if we've learnt our lesson from losing j's friendship it was not being able to listen to the sides of stopries. but well once again, we were allowed to back then?

just hope we can talk things out tgt eh.
2months lose 2 friends; thinking about how im gna lose a third friend in the third consecutive month just makes me upsets


afterall, the fragility of friendships scares me.
if i graduate losing all three of you i dont think i have accomplished much in my college life.
just dont know how to feel anymore. lose friends until numb. think of you just sad. hope mummy lets me out to play lantern. hope rain dont come extinguish out candles.

cheer up!